May 14, 2008 9:05 AM

"What Did You do for the War Effort Daddy?"

"Well my dear, after many sleepless hours in the dark watches of the night, pacing the floor, probing the deepest recesses of my soul - I decided to give up golf.

"As I embark on my latest tour of the Middle East, congratulations on my courageous stance have been pouring in from all over the globe. Although one of the toughest decisions of my Presidency, this noble sacrifice has saved the lives of many little children in Iraq, shored up democracy, and made the whole world a safer place. Safer no doubt for all Americans, but especially people like you dear daughter, who can now have fancy weddings free from the fear of attack by marauding terrorists.

"I'll be booking my ticket to Stockholm next week, as I'm sure I'll be getting the Nobel Peace Prize this year."

Back in the real world, members of Iraq Veterans Against the War, a group on the 2008 ballot, will tomorrow begin testifying before Congress about the effects of the occupation of Iraq (more). For the first time since the conflict began, boots-on-the-ground veterans will testify, under oath, about the true costs of war. Golf will probably not be on the agenda.